A fair amount of the pain from a Faith Crisis comes from resisting this destruction. And every molecule in our body was forged in the violent heart of a dying star. Baptism is a symbolic act of killing your old self and creating a new self. We break bread each Sunday for our sacrament which leads to our creative spiritual renewal. It is a law of this Universe that creation follows destruction and it is a law that God is especially fond of. However, this violence can be transcended and utilized. As described above, it can be pure destruction, leaving nothing but scorched earth in its wake. Likewise a faith crisis can feel equally as violent. It is utilized, actualized, and given purpose - spewing fiery violence out of nozzles to create 7.5 million lbs of thrust. But this violence doesn’t result in wanton destruction. The pressure differentials created are enough to instantly create ice out of the air while dragon-like hellfire is created from within. The explosive capacity of any rocket is truly staggering. Some of the most volatile and highly reactive materials on Earth are thrown together inside the booster engines. Second, launching a rocket into space is an incredibly violent process. But, as with all things, it is love and acceptance from ourselves and those we love that truly heals us. This is a tremendous weight which, unfortunately, drives many into unhealthy spiritual isolation. Our community, our friendships, our families, and our own eternal identity can ride in the balance. Because Mormonism saturates the whole of our lives the stakes are massive. For many it takes decades to sort through and reexamine their spiritual lives, for better or for worse. It is a painstaking and drawn out process.
When a faith crisis hits, seemingly out of nowhere, the pain comes from having to rework almost every tiny bit of our relationship to this Church, this world, ourselves, our families, and God. It weaves its way in and through every bit of our existence from our particular worldview to our most personal eternal identity. Our religion transcends the Sunday pews to saturate the whole of our lives.
There is so much more wrapped up in our faith than simply our membership to a religious organization.
The experience of a Faith Crisis, while not being an exclusively Mormon problem, can be exceptionally painful precisely because one is a Mormon.
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